Wowcher’s The Apprentice Catch-Up



Episode Six – Bruges Tour

There’s only one thing better than an Apprentice episode, and that’s an Apprentice episode set in a foreign country. Oh yes, this was the week for the candidates to pack up their little suitcases and crack open the phrase books as they headed off to Bruges to create and run their own tour around the city. The episodes where they’re forced to mingle with proper real life members of the public are always my favourite – its like a bunch of aliens have crash-landed onto Earth who are yet to learn our human ways, and the expressions of bewilderment, shock and sometimes sheer terror on these poor people’s faces is truly a sight to behold. This week did not disappoint, with team Vitality taking their unsuspecting customers on an accidental 3-hour walk around Bruges main tourist spots (and by around I mean literally around and around and around) followed by a beer tasting from top ladladlad Andrew, who seemed intent on turning this task into a ‘What happens in Bruges stays in Bruges’ situation.

Team Graphene didn’t fare much better, who all seemed to be suffering under Elizabeth’s reign of terror, as she entered full on flustered-teacher-on-a-school-trip mode. Her highlights this week included such catchphrases as ‘We need to walk, not dawdle’, ‘we’re herding cats at the minute, yeah?’ as well as the occasional ‘Tally-ho!’ – ahh, classic Elizabeth. As expected, it was all a bit of mess in the end, with the promised ‘Segway tour’ ended up being a few minutes up and down an alley. But at least this team gave us two truly remarkable sights – lovely beefcake Harrison pulling off a rather gorgeous yellow top and baseball cap combo, and Claude on a Segway, looking like the most miserable person to ever ride a Segway in the history of Segways.

It was an absolute shocker in the boardroom, with Sarah-Jayne finally getting the chop – the first real shock elimination of the series. Especially when sat right next to her was hapless Charles, who during his car-crash of a tour managed to get everybody lost whilst stood right next to the landmark they were meant to be visiting, where in the end one of the customers had to step in and help him out…

Quote of the week: (Harrison about Bruges architecture) ‘The way they’ve mixed in new buildings with the old is literally ingenious.’

Episode 7 – Advertising Cars

Again another classic Apprentice episode, the advertising week sees the candidates get their creatives juices flowing, and allows the designated ‘creative minds’ to create some real masterpieces -under the delusion that they are budding directors and writers whose sheer talents have yet to be discovered. They’ve given us some real corkers in the past (who could forget Pants Man?!?) and I think Team Graphene’s concoction is going to be a real highlight of the series. I mean, the words ‘car advert’ and ‘Norman village’ don’t belong in the same century, let alone the same sentence, but it (yet again) gave Elizabeth a chance to take centre stage… Not only was she television gold, but that point in the advert where she terrorised a group of chickens provided us with the best visual metaphor for her place in the competition so far. And the less said about the name ‘Expando’, the better.

Team Vitality opted for a more aspirational vibe with their ‘Miami’ car, and was quite obviously much better than team Graphene’s in the end, despite Anisa’s cringe-inducing honesty during a difficult pitch to some marketing experts… She’s had a bad couple of weeks bless her, and I’m not sure how long she’ll last after basically being branded the softie media-type of the group. Meanwhile, my girl-crush on Michaela continues, as she manages to not only lead her team to victory, but also manages to finally shut Andrew up by shoving him into the car and leaving him there for the duration of the advert filming.

It does always tend to be the person who has succumbed the most to their creative fancies who gets fired, and so we had to say goodbye to poor old Arjan, who I thought did his best out of the absolute disaster he was left with. After being forced back into the boardroom by Lord Sugar, I think we all thought Elizabeth was a goner, but amazingly, both her and James lived to tell the tale…  I sense a double firing next week.

Quote of the week: (Harrison about the Medieval times) ‘They didn’t even have cars then, did they?’