The Wowcher Guide to Love Island: What You’ve Missed So Far

love-island

Picture this: one gorgeous villa, a glistening pool overlooking some seriously breath-taking views of Majorca… and a handful of horny twenty-somethings on the hunt for ‘love’. That’s right, much like the vast majority of the British population, we’re talking about Love Island! If everyone in your office has been jabbering on non-stop about Chris and Liv finally getting together and how Camilla is just too damn good for Jonny (or any man, for that matter), and you’ve just sat there like a lemon then boy, oh boy, do we have the recap for you! Sit back and relax as we fill you in on all the goings on of the first four weeks of the whirlwind that is Love Island…

The people

The show started with five boys and five girls, who have obviously been so unlucky in love that they’ve found themselves thousands of miles away from home, thrown in a villa with complete strangers. But hey, free holiday, right? Now we’re four weeks in and people have come and gone quicker than you can say “he’s 100% my type on paper”. So, who’s still there?

The Girls

MONTANA
21
Hertfordshire
Economics student

She’s currently shacking up with new boy Alex (and hot damn, why wouldn’t she?) and has even spent the night with him in The Hideaway, sparking rumours she’s finally found her “Baby Daddy”. After being pied off by Dom and Simon we could not be happier for her!

Previous partners; Dom and Simon

CAMILLA
27
Dumfries, Scotland
Explosive Ordnance Disposal

Poor Cam thought she’d found a good guy in (the now slime ball) Jonny but we all knew better. She then set her sights on Craig who was a little too keen with airing his feelings, do you know what I mean? But, there may well be a silver lining with new boy Jamie – eek! Oh, and rumour has it she’s previously dated Prince Harry…

Previous partners; Jonny and Craig

OLIVIA
26
Surrey
Motorsport Grid Girl

The blonde bombshell didn’t step forward for any of the boys in the original coupling on launch night. Picky much? But after a quick (albeit slightly awkward) romance with spunky Sam it was pretty clear Chris wanted to put it on Olivia, and she was keen to let him. BUT, a 6ft-something ‘Greek God’ name Mike threw a real spanner in the works for this pretty couple – but once he was dumped from the island Chris and Liv’s romance has gone from strength to strength…or has it?

Previous partners; Mike and Sam

TYLA
23
Surrey
Model

Voted the least popular by the public, Tyla instantly set her sights on Jonny the minute she landed in the villa. After a shock recoupling, where she found herself randomly chosen by Simon, she’s finally feeling like the cat that got the cream…and Jonny after he picked her to couple up with.

Previous partners; Simon

GABBY
25
Liverpool
Personal trainer

Everyone in the world has fallen hook line and sinker for Gabby, the petite blonde babe who landed the most popular boy in the villa, Marcel. Whilst she’s not feeling completely herself at the moment, she’s still one half of the most adorable real couple in there and we love her for it.

Previous partners; Only Marcel

AMBER
20
North Wales
Dancer

This tiny but fierce brunette first partnered up with Harley, but she soon realised he was a bit of a melt so set her sights on even tinier Kem, and has never looked back…well almost never. The two were separated when a second villa full of hot new islanders came in to play but it would appear absence makes the heart grow fonder and the two have been enjoying some afternoon delights.

Previous partners; Harley, Nathan and Kem

The Boys

MARCEL
31
London
Musician

He’s the viewer’s favourite and it’s clear to see why! He wasn’t picked at the first re-coupling by any of the girls but finally found his NOW GIRLFRIEND Gabby when she came into the villa a little later. He’s had us in tears (I’m not ashamed to admit it) and seriously awwhing over just how cute they are as a couple. Oh, and did we mention he used to be in Blazin’ Squad? Just sayin’.

Previous partners; Only Gabby

ALEX
22
Newcastle
Personal trainer

He set himself a goal of getting it on with Montana and boy, did he meet that goal and then some! The couple only had eyes for each other from the get-go and, in the most recent re-coupling Mon picked Alex and the pair have been getting to know each other ever since, Alex even showed her the goods in their most recent stint in The Hideaway.

Previous partners; None…yet

CHRIS
22
Gloucester
Golf Clothing Ambassador

He may have joined the villa a little later than the original boys but he made himself known to almost every girl in the villa. Once he played the field a little he finally found his perfect partner with Olivia, whilst having a full on bromance with Kem on the side.

Previous partners; Chloe, Olivia

JONNY
26
Essex
Business Director

The now not-so-nice Jonny came onto the island with Chris and instantly stuck it on Camilla, which the public were thrilled about! Finally, Cam has found her love! Alas, no…enter Tyla, the small brunette with olive skin who is 100% Jonny’s type on paper. Cue Cam left broken hearted and Jonny looking a little muggy.

Previous partners; Camilla, Tyla

KEM
21
Essex
Hairdresser

The pint-sized Essex boi who seemed to only have eyes for Amber then made a beeline for Chyna when she came in with her gorgeous silver locks, making the hairdresser go weak at the knees! But it wasn’t meant to be when he was finally reunited with Amber and the two rekindled their romance…multiple times!

Previous partners; Chyna, Chloe and Amber

The ‘New’ Boys

JAMIE and THEO

They’ve only been in the villa a day but they’ve definitely made themselves known already. Both got to take three of the girls on first dates; Jamie chose Camilla, Tyla and Amber whilst Theo opted also for Tyla and Amber, as well as Olivia. If the previews of upcoming episodes is anything to go by Jonny is not a happy bunny (YAS) and Jamie is ready to start putting it on unlucky-in-love Camilla.

Who we said adiós to along the way…

DOM and JESS; now a real life couple (supposedly) and the first in the villa to have sex (oo-er)

MIKE; also called ‘muggy Mike’ by islander Chris after he hooked up with Liv

HARLEY; the blonde-haired blue-eyed boy who is now apparently dating…

TYNE-LEXY; the first girl to go on a date with Mike, but then got dumped when he picked Liv

CHLOE; the blonde-haired girl from Essex who was just far too unlucky in love…but is rumoured to be appearing in TOWIE (swings and roundabouts, Chlo)

SAM; the little cutie who was shot down by Chloe and Montana for been to keen

CRAIG, NATHAN, DANIELLE and CHYNA; the poor four who were dumped before they even had a chance to find love

SIMON; the guy who coupled up with the least popular girl then got himself booted off for it

When’s it on?

Every night on ITV2 at 9pm except Saturday. Instead the channel treats you to the Weekly Hot List, giving you a catch up of all the drama, fall-outs and shenanigans of the previous week.

Glossary

MELT Someone (normally a guy) who needs to man up and grow a pair

MUG A person who will do anything you ask, no matter the implications for them

MUGGY Someone who talks a lot of ‘poppycock’ but sounds like they’re telling the truth. Not a good guy.

PUT/ STICK IT ON HER Making a move… in a sexual way

BIT OF ME / 100% MY TYPE ON PAPER When talking about someone you fancy or someone you would normally go for

ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET Taking yourself ‘off the market’ as you’re now ready to commit. Be warned, putting all your eggs in one basket is a dangerous game and some could crack

THE HIDEAWAY A room in Love Island where couples can go to get down to business