Who’s ready for some international sportsball then? Phwoar! Goals! Brazilians! A trophy! Kicking! You get the idea. That’s right, the time has finally come: that magical month or so out of every four years when we all gather round our newly-purchased HD TVs to yell advice at a bunch of professional athletes, all in the name of the beautiful game. Bobby Moore, 66, Wemb-er-ly, come on you England, phwoar!
Our boys are jetting off to Brazil to play in the greatest tournament on earth – bigger than the Superbowl, more fun than the Olympics and with more gratuitous shots of bikini-clad blondes than Crufts – it’s the World Cup, of course. This time around, our brave Lions’ first test on the inevitable route to glory comes in the form of Italy. The rugged, handsome, stylish Italy – pasta, Pavarotti, the Romans, The Godfather, moustaches. Italy.
We’re in no doubt that the team’s wise owl/manager Roy Hodgson has mentally prepared his team for this tough test in the searing Brazilian heat, but we ask are you ready? It’s always important to know your enemy – know what makes them tick, what they get out of bed in the morning for, what they eat, what they drink, and some other stuff. If we really want to cheer on our lads then we owe it to them to suss out this glorious country. So, without further ado we bring you the Wowcher guide to Italy – it’s an offer you can’t refuse… Read more