It’ll Be All-White on the Night: Wowcher does Teeth Whitening


We have all at one point or another tuned out as a dentist has told us that teeth are important, but their lips don’t lie. Why do you think so many pop culture moments reference the area? Who could forget the iconic line from A Few Good Men: “You want the tooth? You can’t handle the tooth!” Biggie (RIP) immortalised the back teeth with his seminal rap, Molar Money, Molar Problems. And how could we not mention the game-changing Star Wars sequel, The Empire Strikes Plaque. With all these subliminal messages being drilled into our cranial cavities, it’s no wonder I embrace my obsession with my teeth.

Let’s examine where the obsession started. I am Jack Slater, and I am a coke addict. Like most addictions, for years it was harmless. It was fun, even. Counting down the hours until my next fix. Scrambling for the exact change to fund my habit. Blissfully ignoring all the warning signs and warnings that I needed help. The repercussions were minimal. I looked good, I felt better when I knew another hit was coming. Until one day it led me to rock bottom – a place of pain, shame and regret: the dentist’s chair.

Yes, my Diet Coke habit caught up with me. My once winning smile, if I say so myself, now reflected years of bad habits and even worse choices. Though damage had been done, I was fortunately at a precipice. My teeth were more Britney Spears than Lindsay Lohan; a worrying sight, but not a total lost cause. With a professional clean and a quick check-up, turns out they’d be fine… but the stains remained. Literally. I was no longer whiter than white in the eyes of my dentist, or in the reflections of a mirror. When I smiled, all I heard was Coldplay. “It was all yellow.” My final straw; nobody deserves the punishment of Coldplay every day.

Candid of me heading to the clinic

Frantic, I bought gels. I bought strips. I bought toothpaste, and mouthwashes and sprays, oh my. I was spending more on whitening products than Michael Jackson in the 90s. Nothing worked, and then along came Wowcher.

Beauty & Smile Dental, a professional clinic based on Harley Street, answered my prayers, their medical smocks gleaming a heavenly white in my time of need. The excellent service started before I had even set foot in the clinic. When I first booked in for a teeth whitening treatment, I received a swift confirmation email, which included comprehensive directions to their practice. These turned out to be extremely helpful as one could easily walk past the entrance, especially if one was too distracted checking their phone. Once I entered the clinic, it was a straight walk up the stairs into the calming reception area. There I was checked in, given some standard papers to sign and sat near the collection of magazines. Magazines chocked full of celebrities with white teeth. Mocking me. But not for much longer…

After a short wait, I was seated in the treatment chair. The practitioner gave me the low down on everything, from how long the treatment is expected to last to what is included. They explain how many layers of the gel will be applied, what the sensations may feel like and they take the shade of your teeth as they currently are. The selection on the colour wheel of teeth is pretty extensive so you get an accurate match, meaning you can really check if the treatment has worked in the end and brightened you up a few shades. When it came to looking at the shades of teeth, my aim was to go for the exact opposite of what a Kardashian looks for in a fella; the whiter the better.

White teeth may be glamorous, but getting them is far from. The practitioner applied a gum protecting gel, gently placed the mouth guard in and stuck in a device I had to bite down on to keep in place. So I might have looked like I belonged in a deleted scene from 50 Shades of Grey, but it’s worth it for their shades of white I was about to receive.


The bleaching gel was applied and the laser was placed opposite my mouth for a beginning round of twenty minutes. The practitioner was on hand to check I was okay and touch up the gel at times for maximum results. After the first twenty minutes is up, a second round took place based on the practitioners recommendation. Up to three rounds can take place, with one session being eligible for up to sixty minutes. With the second round coming to an end, my teeth were feeling a bit sensitive, a common reaction and nothing to worry about, I was assured. I rinsed, I had some bleach gunk taken off and the moment came. I was handed a mirror and I smiled the toothiest smile I have in a long time.


They were definitely whiter. It was undeniable. I hadn’t had the highest of hopes but the results were white there in front of me. Don’t brush off the benefits of a good whitening. It’ll only be your f-loss if you do. The only thing left for me to do was head out into the world and put my newfound pearly-whites to good use.

Me, After